I think of shit I want to do, or get accomplished. And I realized the first thing I look forward to is resource (which is good). So in that path, I figure resource would be help from people.. more specifically friends. So if I cancel out what I don’t want to do because I want to be productive, it would be:
-I don’t want to smoke today
-I can go out and play handball or do something athletic…but in that time I’m not upgrading economically, productively, or doing anything that I can be doing like getting my licence for example.
- I don’t want to drink or party tonight, or this weekend.
And as the list goes on, I suddenly realize that if I did want to do these things, I have certain friends for these occasions. There’s some people that I can smoke with, I can drink with, I can go out with and party, there all there, but if I didn’t want to do those things, it’s not that some of them don’t want nothing to do with me if I’m not smoking today, but more about that they have their environment set already for what they want to do, and me not wanting to smoke or even being a part of the help, is no use for me to be around..now if they were friends, that wouldn’t really matter, the company and time spent is the precious part, but they don’t realize this, and It’s okay that they don’t realize, and since I know they don’t know I have no hard feelings, I get it.
Now when I look at something I’m super interested in, for instance;
-dropping a track with someone
-getting together to write a project
-Making money with some type of minor investment till it gets bigger
-Going out and experiencing new places for new ideas
Then I get happy ! Cus I have friends for that, I have places to go, I have RESOURCE…
But then I look at the devotion from those friends, the motive, and in their heart I know they mean it, but they just don’t put their thoughts to their bodies. How many people told me they want to get on a track, never hear from them again. No persistence. Even if they’re GARBAGE, if they are persistent, I respect their flow, I respect the fact that even if they’re not the greatest, the time they put in it is. So I look back at the friend category, and I get a big FAT 0 with the acception of some.
And that’s when I really learn the value of independence. Doing it yourself, where that puts an artist in like me in a position where I would have to start from SCRATCH. Which could take months without resource. But you know what? It will be done, it will be done. And when it is done, guess what? I wont be like
“na fuck you nigga, you aint wanna make moves when I was down and ready to go, and now you want a spot in the chance that you ain’t even help me create when we should of did it together”
But more like
“YO! I just got bread for the mic, even if we cant go to the studio, we can record at my crib, and im learning how to use Pro tools on a daily basis. This means we can record some hard drafts, perfect it and send it to my engineer to fix it up. We can finally do this!”
That may cus a spark, maybe my niggas will be like
“Oh shit, he really did it when I didn’t, but aight I gotta step my game up cus theres no excuses now, this is really good cus now we can really move.”
Or if it is what it always was.. they’ll continue the way the are. And thats alright cus in my eyes:
1) I asked for help; either ya couldn’t help , ya didn’t want to, or you got lazy.
2) I did it myself, and still offered ya to join in
3) Ill be moving on up, hopefully with ya, but if not, then you weren’t destine to do this type of work, maybe you were, but not with me.
Since I can see the future, this is my amendment of reason before everything goes the way I feel it will. And in the future, I will come back to this and say “Peep my amendment on Thursday, May 16th, 2013.
At the end of it all, its still all LOVE.